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| Winter 2010 Issue |
A Quarterly Publication of Adoptions From The Heart
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Our Fall Education Series is about to begin, click here to see what classes are being held in your area. |
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Dear Friends, Despite the many changes and challenges that have faced the The good news is that there are more organizations out there offering Our domestic To cut down on overhead, we have merged our Changing guidelines in The agency has also focused a lot of attention on outreach to the African American community hoping to recruit more families so that we can offer African American women more options when choosing a family. AFTH is proud to have received the Human Rights Campaigns "All Children, All Families" seal of cultural competency and for supporting LGBT families. We look forward to this coming fiscal year and to building more beautiful families. Maxine Chalker, MSW/LSW AFTH received hundreds of inquiries from those concerned about the plight of children in Excerpt from U.S. Department of State announcement: It can be extremely difficult in such circumstances to determine whether children who appear to be orphans truly are eligible for AFTH’s Board has established a fund specifically earmarked for the rebuilding of orphanages in Visit www.state.gov/haitiquake or www.jcics.org for current updates on the status of conditions in Each year just before the holiday season, AFTH makes a donation of gift cards to birthmothers who have placed through the agency and have been identified by social workers as needing some extra financial assistance - many of whom are parenting other children. This year, AFTH donated a total of $12, 900 to 29 women who had placed children through AFTH’s domestic program. The Walmart giftcards help the women purchase groceries, clothing and toys for their family during the holidays. After sending out the giftcards, AFTH often receives notes of thanks. This year, the recipients were truly thankful for the extra financial help as it allowed them to make the holiday special for their children. AFTH Calendar Sales Our 2010 AFTH calendars sales were a great success in raising money for our humanitarian aid. This year sales were just short of 600 calendars raising $3,700 in profits for humanitarian aid. Special Thanks A very special thanks to the Soucie family, an adoptive family from the Connecticut Office, who purchased more than 100 calendars. Sandy and Craig’s daughter was featured in AFTH’s 2010 Building Beautiful Families Calendar. Craig had his business send the calendars out to its customers. Not only did the purchase help raise funds for AFTH’s humanitarian aid effort, but it also raised awareness for AFTH is continuing to raise funds to build a new facility for children with handicaps at the Tam Binh Orphanage. The new facility will include: lavatories, physical therapy room, a studying room and an activities room. Although DROP IN INTERNATIONAL ADOPTION: The number of children born in other countries and adopted into the HIV TRAVEL BAN LIFTED: President Obama lifted the ban on travel into the CDC RECOMMENDATIONS: The CDC recommends hepatitis A immunization to those expecting close contact with adoptees arriving from countries where hepatitis A is prevalent, including
My husband and I recently adopted a baby girl through domestic In addition to being a new adoptive mother, I am also an estate planning attorney, so after our daughter was born, I sat down to rewrite our Wills. I realized that the fact that we have an adopted child raised a whole host of questions which, even after nine years of practice, took on a whole new meaning to me. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that there are several issues and decisions that parents in adoptive families must be educated about that do not exist in families with only biological children. Estate Planning in General Every parent that has a minor child needs to have an estate plan in order to ensure that child is protected and cared for, both personally and financially. An estate plan typically consists of a set of documents that set forth your wishes with respect to your person (i.e., health care decisions), your estate (i.e., financial decisions) and your children (i.e., guardianship decisions). The documents include a Will, a Trust, a Health Care Proxy, a Durable Power of Attorney, and a Parental Appointment of Guardian for Minors. While a good estate planning attorney can walk you through what each of these documents does, there are additional issues specific to Choice of Guardian Choosing a guardian to care for your children in the event you become incapacitated or die is never an easy decision for any parent. But when you are an adoptive parent, it is even more complicated. The person you select to fill this role must be sensitive to the unique circumstances of your family, and it may require some extra thought and direction on your part to make sure your wishes are carried out. Things to consider include making sure your chosen guardian has all the facts about your child’s I often recommend that adoptive parents prepare a letter, to be kept with their estate planning documents, spelling out the circumstances surrounding their child’s Inheritance Rights Before your As soon as your child is placed with you, assuming it is intended to be a permanent placement, you should consider signing new Wills to include that child. Your Will can include language that treats a child placed for Trusts I always recommend that parents of young children leave their assets to a trust for the benefit of their child. It is never advisable to leave assets to a minor, first and foremost because legally they cannot take control of an inheritance, but also because leaving assets to a minor means continued court involvement and oversight until your child reaches the age of majority. With Because a Trust is usually not a public document (as opposed to a Will which gets filed with the Probate Court), it also serves as a mechanism to privately set forth special financial considerations for your child, as further discussed below. Special Financial Considerations There may be costs associated with raising an adopted child that go beyond making sure they are clothed, sheltered, fed and educated. If your plan for your child includes annual visits with the birth family, or a trip to the country from where they were adopted, this is something you should spell out. If they were adopted internationally, and you want them to have exposure to the culture of their homeland, you should incorporate provisions in your Trust specifically directing your Trustee to pay for travel, cultural programs, or anything else that might be related. Supplemental Needs Trusts If your child has any disabilities or special needs, it will be even more important that you provide for him or her after you are gone. You should consider establishing a supplemental needs trust for your child to ensure that your child meets the financial eligibility rules for private or government assistance programs while preserving the assets you leave to him or her for needs not met by such programs. Continued Planning Finally, you should periodically review your estate plan with an experienced estate planning attorney. Changes in the law, your family structure or financial situation are all events that warrant a revisit of your plan as they can have a dramatic impact on your estate plan. Cheryl N. Smith is an estate planning attorney at the law firm of Bass, Doherty and Finks, P.C. www.bassdoherty.com She is also mom to her beautiful daughter adopted at birth through domestic, open The Allentown Office of Adoptions From The Heart held their holiday open house on December 1, 2009. It was a great evening with a year of conversation to catch up on, goodies to share, and lots of new friendships made. Kids of all ages played, colored, danced and ate plenty of cookies! It was a great time to meet the new faces of the Allentown Office. Helene, the new social worker at the Allentown Office, got to officially meet and greet families along with District Supervisor Central PA A good time was had by all at our Annual Holiday Party on Saturday, December 5th! We had over 60 families in attendance. Santa paid us a visit and Cheryl Bisaillon of Granite Valley Photography donated her time to take pictures with Santa. The Glastonbury High School Key Club provided us with talented Artists for Face Painting. We look forward to seeing everyone again next year! Virginia Holiday Party We had 99 in attendance in spite of threats of snow from the north and the usual downpours going on in Tidewater. We had several birthparents visiting with their children and adoptive families along with families who adopted internationally. Santa arrived with books and toys for the children. It was a success in all aspects!
THE BEST FOR YOU by Kelsey Stewart - Written by a birth mother, this book offers a perspective that no other children's QUESTIONS ADOPTEES ARE ASKING...ABOUT BEGINNINGS...ABOUT SEARCHING...ABOUT FINDING PEACE by Sherrie Eldridge - This is an updated version of Ms. Eldridge’s book, 20 Life Transforming Choices Adoptees Need to Make. This book includes interviews with more than seventy adoptees to bring their questions to light, find the answers, and create connection among adult adoptees. An insightful book. AFTH price $13.00 SURROGACY WAS THE WAY: TWENTY INTENDED MOTHERS TELL THEIR STORIES by Zara Griswald - This book takes a look at the intended parents perspective of surrogacy and is very helpful for both surrogates and intended parents going through surrogacy. It looks at the details that people do not want to talk about. Surrogacy is a beautiful way to achieve pregnancy, but there is not a resource for intended parents on what to expect. Anyone who is involved in gestational surrogacy, whether you are the intended parents, the surrogate, or family members, should read this book. AFTH Price $14.00 THE COMPLETE LESBIAN AND GAY PARENTING GUIDE by Arlene Istar Lev - This book is one of the most inclusive LGBT parenting manuals out there, highly recommended for LGBT parents and anyone thinking about starting a family. It is an engaging read, full of funny stories and information. It is also one of the only books that is truly inclusive of bisexual, transgender and gender-variant families. AFTH $17.00 ADOPTING AND ADVOCATING FOR THE SPECIAL NEEDS CHILD by Rita Law and L. Anne Babb - Although definitions vary special needs children include those with mental, physical, and emotional disabilities and those with problems due to their age, sibling status, race, and such risk factors as exposure to drugs in utero. For parents interested in a special needs child and just beginning the 20 THINGS ADOPTIVE PARENTS NEED TO SUCCEED by Sherry Eldridge - Speaking from her own experience as an adoptee and an expert in the field of Discover how to:
AFTH price $12.00 JIN JIN AND THE RAIN WIZARD by Grace Chang AFTH is proud to announce our long time China Facilitator, Grace Chang, has published her second book about Jin Jin the Dragon. Jin Jin and the Rain Wizard introduces readers to yet another fascinating aspect of Chinese culture. At the end of the book, two additional pages describe the history of rice and the legend of Rain Wizard. A limited number of signed copies are available through our website. Select the Jin Jin book marked “Signed Copy” from our online book store. AFTH price $14.00 Grace was born in Chong Chang, Grace Chang's brother, has been drawing since the age of five. He graduated from One morning, as Jin Jin leads his young friends in their early morning Tai Chi, he discovers that he has lost his magical water-breathing power.
Jin Jin consults his mentors, wise Old Turtle and Crane, who finally tease out the truth from him. While at the rice festival the day before - stuffing himself with his favorite rice delicacies – Jin Jin ended up throwing away his last dish of rice. And rice is more precious than gold! Old Turtle and Crane give Jin Jin a magic gourd, then lead him to an ancient archway, through which Jin Jin travels far back in time.
On a quest to find Rain Wizard, the only one who can help the starving farmers who live in a long-ago, drought-parched land, Jin Jin learns how important rice is. Will Jin Jin get back his water-breathing power? DOMESTIC - The African-American Domestic Program had a successful 2009. We placed 37 African- American infants and 1 toddler and 34 bi-racial infants, which is 7 more than we placed in 2008. We have had numerous intakes after the first of the year and have been talking to many new families on the phone about this program. Several families are in process of completing their home studies and hope to be in the profile book within the next few months. Advertising continues to stress the need we have for adoptive parent(s) open to adopting full African-American infants as the program is open to families living anywhere in the The Caucasian Program was also very successful in 2009 with 91 children placed with adoptive families. For our waiting families, take heart in knowing that The wait can be difficult and AFTH understands families want to maximize their opportunities to be shown to potential birthparents. AFTH is responding to feedback provided by birthparents by implementing some of their suggestions. In addition to encouraging families to review their keys, AFTH is suggesting that families to create longer profiles. Social workers report that pregnant women looking to make an AFTH has also seen an increase in women contacting us interested in families shown on our website. AFTH has expanded the profiles on our website to include a photo gallery of the family (up to 5 photos), and now the family’s full profile is also linked in. An immediate, positive response has been seen from those looking to make an HEARTBEATS - Both of the Heartbeats Programs are seeing an increase in interest and AFTH is hoping to see some of the families enrolled in the programs home with their babies by the end of the year. The Embryo Placement Program has been running successfully. The families in process are excited and eager to expand their family through embryo placement. We will share more about their progress in future updates. Webinars specific to the Embryo Placement Program will continue to be held monthly. To learn more, register for the webinar via the online event calendar at www.afth.org. An in-person information meeting about the Embryo Placement Program is being held on February 23rd at 7:00pm at the AFTH Wynnewood Office in The India Surrogacy Heartbeat Program has also seen growing interest. The first online webinar for this program was held in January with several interested families in attendance and we are expecting our first applications to this program very soon. Building Families, One Heartbeat at a Time Why an In researching and developing the Heartbeats Embryo Placement Program, we found surrogacy was becoming a very popular family building option and that no home study is required of parents intending to use surrogacy to build their families. AFTH has seen the negative repercussions when education was not a required piece for adoptive parents and believes not requiring education for intended parents building a family through surrogacy is making the same mistake. Intended families, while being biologically connected to the child, still experience aspects encountered by those adopting internationally: staying in another country and jumping through immigration hoops. The education course is designed to help prepare intended parents for the process and how to talk to friends and family about surrogacy, as well as, explain how to answer their child’s questions about surrogacy. The education course helps families to combat the negative reactions and myths surrounding international surrogacy by empowering them with the resources, emotional support, and information needed when creating a family through international surrogacy. Recently, many news stories have highlighted challenges and obstacles facing surrogacy in the Several inquiring intended parents already have embryos created through infertility treatments. These couples only need to make one trip to As is the case with all programs, Surrogacy in Embryo Placement Program Interest AFTH has received a growing number of intended parents contacting AFTH to learn more about embryo placement. Program Coordinator Couples are pleasantly surprised to hear the current wait to be matched with an embryo donor is between 2-4 months, depending on the criteria the family is looking for, after completing the paperwork. Other common questions relate to the openness aspect between the donor and recipient families and choosing a clinic for the medical procedure whether is it the intended parents own clinic or being referral to one by AFTH. Intended parents interested in a family building program that enables couples, in which the woman is able to carry a child to term, to experience pregnancy and prenatal bonding with their child at a cost much less than many other infertility procedures, are encouraged join us for a free educational opportunity to learn more about the program and ask Jeanne any questions they might have. Click here to learn more information about either our Embryo Placement Program or the India Surrogacy Program. For upcoming Heartbeats Webinar and in-person meetings, visit our online calendar of events.
Over the past few years international The causes of this decline are several. Some countries have independently taken steps to reduce the numbers of their children being adopted by foreigners. (Most notably, The Hague Convention is an international treaty dating back to 1993. It seeks to set uniform inter-country procedures that protect the rights of children, birthparents, and adoptive parents, while preventing abuses. Recently, the Convention was in the news when its rules were invoked in helping a Worldwide, there are approximately 75 member countries of the Convention, many of which have experienced a significant decrease in international The Hague Convention principally sets forth standards that increase protections for all members of the Unfortunately, the decline of international Naturally, AFTH’s international Having placed more than 3,000 children from abroad with loving adoptive families over the years, AFTH remains committed to the cause of international Questions regarding AFTH's international After its inception in 1985 as a domestic Grace Chang and her husband Stuart had facilitated a few Chinese Program Beginning and Peak For the first three years, Grace, Stuart and Final Chapter At the end of September 2009, the China Center of Adoption Affairs (CCAA) announced all non-Hague accredited agencies were required to transfer their cases to Hague accredited agencies by December 1, 2009. This marked the final chapter for the AFTH China Program. It was sad to see the program end after 17 years of operation. AFTH and Roberta, the Program Coordinator from beginning to end, look back proudly at being instrumental in helping to make such a positive change in the lives of adoptive couples and the more than 2,000 Chinese infants who were placed with their forever families through the AFTH China Program. Board Books to Bikes There's a lot going on in my household these days. In fact, as we prepare to close on the sale of our home, I'm realizing just how much has gone on in our household. When Thom and I bought the house, it was an old place with good bones. Eyeing its potential, we reveled in its charm and old-house details, convinced it just needed some paint and spackle. A couple cases of spackle, myriad repairs and countless gallons of paint later, it did become a home. With that start, the house already was loaded with sentiment. But then it became the first place in which I rocked my child to sleep, the spot where I began to learn the daunting ropes of motherhood. Bittersweet is an understatement. It's where my mom and sister came just hours after we received "the call" to help pack for the hospital. It's the crackle of the stone driveway I hear each time I remember bringing Maeve home, our extended families standing there waiting to meet her. In our living room she toddled her first steps, right into my sister's welcoming arms. For her first birthday, we celebrated in the backyard: our closest friends and family, countless balloons, food galore, bright tablecloths, a packed piñata, and multiple cakes. We gather on the couch to read - first baby board books, now stacks of picture books - in front of a crackling fire. Maeve chases cats Kate and Ella around and under and over and up and down the house, once a crawling baby and now a young girl, determined to cement a friendship. Sitting in the shadows of the tree each Christmas morning, we've watched Maeve's excitement and understanding grow. This year, a shiny new bike greeted her as she came downstairs. We've hurried up those same stairs on movie night to pick the evening's entertainment. She's moved from sweet nursery with mosquito netting and soft teddy bear to sassy big-girl room with play tent and carefully arranged dolls. Maeve took her first bite of corn-on-the-cob - now her favorite vegetable - on the bright red bench in our breakfast nook. In that same spot, we now practice writing her name and numbers. The screech of her bench dragging across bathroom tile to stop just in front of the sink - the required preface to toothpaste-squeezing (not so much, Maeve!), tooth-brushing (a little longer, Maeve!) and vitamin-choosing (any one of them will do, Maeve!) - will soon be just a memory. When we all cuddle in our bed, her foot jutting into my side or her head bumping into Thom's, we ask how she got so big. She giggles and as if she's revealing a secret, tells us she just can't help it, she has to grow into "a dult" like us. Then we tell her again how at just a few days old, she lay between us in this very bed and we stared with amazement, watching her every move. Since the house went on the market, I've been stumbling around these and so many other memories, trying to make sense of leaving it all behind. Then my mother, in an oh-so-motherly tone, set me straight: "Gretchen, when you get down to it, a house is just a bunch of wood and nails. It's you and your family that make up all those moments. That's what makes wood and nails a home." Enough said. So I'll keep packing, shed a few more tears and then let go, knowing we're starting a new chapter in the book that is our family. There are new memories to create, dreams to make a reality - perhaps a sibling for Maeve - and family stories not yet written. Deep breath, Gretchen, deep breath. Then off to the next pile of wood and nails. Gretchen Boger-O'Bryan was placed with her daughter in July 2005 through Adoptions From The Heart. An editor and freelance writer, she has an |
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Copyright 2006. Adpotions From the Heart is a licensed, non-profit, nonsectarian adoption agaency. Founded in 1985.
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